I have problems with the societal expectations of my gender, and of the male gender too for that matter.
I think a lot of people would consider the number of men I've had sex with high, higher even relative to my age. You know what, screw them. As of Saturday night, the number of men I have slept with is exactly equal to my number of fingers.
Ten. Okay, now you also know I'm not missing any fingers. When I counted it out Saturday night while less than sober, it seemed like a huge number. But let's look at its advantages. I can easily calculate percentages with it. I have had some great sex, some mediocre sex, and some bad sex. I have had sex enough to know the difference between each immediately. That's an important life skill to have, sex quality discrimination. I teach my students visual discrimination, and I'm pretty sure both of these skills are essential to a quality life.
I like math so I am going to make some calculations now:
Percentage of men I absolutely regret sleeping with: 10%
Percentage of men I enjoyed having sex with: 70%
Percentage of men that I had incredible, mind-blowing, fantastic, I-can't-stop-shaking-sex with: 50%
Percentage of these men who gave me an orgasm (or more!): 30%
Percentage of men that I'd fuck again: 40%
Conclusions we can draw from these statistics:
Men are bad at giving women orgasms. (That or they don't care enough to try, or I'm not demanding enough to get them.)
Sometimes sex comes with regret, and that's okay if you process it and make a purposeful decision not to blame yourself in an unhealthy manner.
Not all sex is good. Not all sex is great. And sometimes even great sex isn't worth repeating.
For easy percentage calculations, my number should either hold steady or increase by multiples of 10, or 5 because I'm dorky and more complicated math isn't a bad thing.
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3 comments:
My performance with women has varied. Some I do better with than others. The moe time i have the better I do. The first time is never as good as the 2nd or 3rd. I try to spend more time with foreplay and that seems to help. In the context of a relationship non sexual touching throughout the day (like a hug from behind while cooking dinner or some nice cuddling while watching tevee) seems to make women feel more at ease and they tend to have better orgasms.
I think the key is, as long as you were able to glean something from each experience, it's valuable.
Loved the mathematic breakdown, btw!
I did a love by the numbers type post as well. I didn't get into percentages though. Counting on my fingers was all the math I could handle.
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