So what's a girl to do?

As a recently single and relatively recently hot lady, I face a variety of issues in my day to day life. It's just not easy being hot and available, I suppose.

Last night I went on a first date. I can't count how many first dates I've had since M. left me the first week of March. Really, please do not ask me to count. I have met so many duds, guys that weren't even good for a fun afternoon or evening. Difference is, last night went well. The first half hour or so at the coffee shop was a bit awkward, figuring out conversation and all. After that it seemed like something clicked. We talked almost two hours before getting hungry and thus grabbing a bite to eat. We were having such a good time that we walked to a bar in the shopping center for a couple beers. I don't know about anyone else, but a five hour first date that is so incredibly fun doesn't happen to me often.

I wore a purple rouched sleeve shirt and jeans from the Limited, black wedge heels. I looked a cute and wholesome version of sexy; he called me gorgeous. I felt something shiver in me when he put his arm around me. The way he tucked my hair behind my ear and the somewhat sudden and public first kiss made me giddy for hours. I couldn't sleep after; I stayed up all night watching Golden Girls and Good Times.

But how soon is too soon? When does a girl recently out of a nearly two year relationship say "Okay Self, you're good. You're ready. Like this dude if you want to, it's alright." I don't know when I say that, but I think a big part of me wants to say that now. I could write a laundry list of reasons that this guy is worth breaking the stoicism down for, but I don't need to. It's about that chemistry, that click. I have some "shallow" but oh-so-necessary requirements now that I didn't before M.and they matter too. I think this guy has those down pat.

I've grown up so much in the past two and a half months. I am a different girl that M. knew, a better girl. I am a hundred times better than the girl M. loved. I am powerful and submissive; I am demanding and giving, no longer to a fault.

That's just how I roll.